Giant Venomous Flying Spiders Expected in New Jersey

A new study says New Jersey should prepare for an invasion of Joro spiders -- large yellow and black, parachuting spiders that can grow to be larger than the palm of a man's hand.

Well, things have been getting kind of boring around here ever since the COVID-19 restrictions were lifted.

The Joro spider is not a native to America, but it began infiltrating the U.S. in 2013, most probably in a shipping container from Japan, and concentrating in the southeast and specifically Georgia, according to NPR.

They fanned out across Georgia in 2021 using their webs as tiny, terrifying parachutes to travel with the wind.

Scientists from the Univesity of Georgia say it now appears the Joro's are ready to move north and could take over much of the East Coast possibly later this year.

Listen...I think I can hear my wife and my daughters calling for me to get these *&#@*&** Joro spiders out of this house...IMMEDIATELY!

What am I? Spiderman?

Just wait until they hear that they can fly.

That's right, spider fans, they can fly; these arachnids form parachutes out of their webs and can travel up to 50 to 100 miles through the wind, per the University of Georgia Extension.

Some scientists say we Jerseyans are tough and have nothing to worry about—the spiders haven’t shown any signs of disturbing local ecosystems, they don’t harm humans, and they even eat pests like stink bugs, writes the Associated Press Sudhin Thanawala.

“This is wonderful. This is exciting. Spiders are our friends,” Nancy Hinkle, an entomologist at the University of Georgia, said last year. “They are out there catching all the pests we don’t want around our home.”

Somehow, I don't think that's going to appease the spider-hating women in my house.