Text Before Calling: Five New Phone Etiquette Rules For 2023

There are some new etiquette rules for phones in 2023 that may differ from what you have always done in the past, if you are old enough to remember life before cell phones and smart phones.

Where Did These New Phone Rules Come From?

Lizzie Post, the great-great-grandchild of Emily Post and co-president at the Emily Post Institute, who inherited the 100-year old family business of teaching others how to be considerate and courteous. 

Lizzie has rewritten some basic rules of the phone to fit with modern times. After looking at Lizzie's new rules, I have handpicked five of those rules to spotlight. (My thoughts will follow each rule.)

See if you agree with the Five New Rules of the Phone for 2023

1- Always Text Before Calling

Modern-day etiquette states that you should always text someone before calling to avoid catching someone in a sticky spot or them rejecting your phone call.

It's a good idea to text someone a couple of minutes before you plan on calling them to ask if they are free to talk now, or if they can suggest a time they’d like to talk later.

(Who knew? My apologizes for breaking this rule on a daily basis for 20 years.)

2- You Can Refuse To Pick Up A Call Without Guilt

Phone etiquette isn't just limited to the sender. There are some rules meant for the receiver as well. If someone is calling you at a time that is inconvenient to you, it is your responsibility to not pick up and let them know why.

Lizzie Post, etiquette expert and says: 'We all have control of our phones and can decide if it’s the right time to answer it. If someone interrupts you and you’re ticked off about it, guess whose fault that is? You’re the one who answered the call when you shouldn’t.'

If you're worried about coming-off as a rude to the caller, just drop 'I'll call you back in a while' in the text box.

(Again, I have been doing the opposite of this forever and wondering why no one actually answers their phone anymore. My bad.)

3- The Speakerphone Is Not For Public Use

Avoid using the speaker button when you are in public to avoid disturbing other people.

If you're making a call, whether it's a voice call, a video call or even on your smartwatch, use good quality headphones or wait until later.

(Oh, for the love of mercy, this bugs the absolute hell out of me. I've had guys stand at the next urinal to me while having a conversation on a speaker phone! Are you kidding me?)

4- Voice Your Emotions, Text The Facts

Etiquette experts suggest calling before talking about something that involves expressing thoughts or emotions and texting when the information is simply facts.

(We would avoid a lot of arguments if we paid better attention to this rule.)

5- No Voicemails In 2023

This rule may disappoint generations who once relied on answering machines, but voicemails are now a thing of the past. With a wide variety of text messaging apps now available, important information can be easily communicated in writing.

The only appropriate time to leave a voicemail is when the other person would be genuinely happy to hear your voice.

(Whoops! Sorry, that's been me leaving all those voicemails. Boy, do I feel old.)