Ocean County Man Enters Liquor Store Naked, Steals a Beer

This is a weird one. I feel like I should start with a joke.

A naked man walked into a liquor store. The clerk said, “Sir, this is highly irregular.”
The naked man replied, “So is gravity, but here we are".

Okay, here's what we know about a naked guy who walked into an Ocean County liquor store on Tuesday -- St. Patrick's Day -- and stole a large can of Budweiser beer and walked out without paying.

Naked Guy Stole a Beer From Lakewood Liquor Store

Lakewood Police got a call about 2:40 pm on Tuesday about a naked man going into the store, stealing a beer, and leaving.

When the cops got to the Pinecone Liquor Store on 2nd Street, they didn't have any problem identifying their suspect. The man was standing in front of the store holding and drinking a 25-oz Budweiser.

The naked guy, identified only as a 69-year-old, saw the police and began yelling statements that the police later described in their report as "alarming."

The man, a Lakewood resident, was quickly taken into custody. Police charged him with shoplifting and lewdness.

As far as the police could tell, the man had walked to the liquor store, so DUI was not charged.

One More Thing

You have to wonder just how far the naked man walked to the liquor store on Tuesday afternoon. No one reported anything until he stole a beer?

Sometimes when you read the news, you have to laugh to stop from crying. With that in mind, one more joke before I go.

This naked man walks into a liquor store, and the owner says, "Next time, wear clothes!"

The naked guy says, “With these prices?"